Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My Vision Quest

I am starting a new project and I am on day 3. I have worn glasses for over 30 years, since I was 2 maybe(I will have to fact check with my mom and get back on this for you ). I think my prescription is around -8 or -9 Like most people who have glasses or contacts, some days I dont't even notice that I am using them but on other days I hate them and feel that they are such a burden. Off and on I have thought about healing my sight, especially the past 2 or 3 years. Before that it was merely wishful thinking, cursing my "genetic luck".
So I just started googling natural vision healing and came across the Bates Method. I ordered somebooks from Amazon but they haven't come yet. In the meatime I am going "naked" as much as I can. I haven't put my contacts in since I made this decision and have had my glasses mostly on top of my head. I believe all ilness and disease originates in our own thoughts and therefore we have the power to heal ourselves.
Mythoughts are super scattered right now because I have had so many new experiences the [ast few days and I am worried that I will for get one of these important keys to healing. Ah that is a key right there. I think mostly my eyesight is not at its best because of fear. Fear that because I can't see the future clearly that it must be something to be scared of, something not to trust. That somehow the world is out to get me. Trust, Trust, Trust.
Already I am interacting with the world differently. I went for a walk downtown last night without any sight aids. It was only a mile and a half but it was a profound experence for me. I was relying on all my other senses so much more. I told Keith I felt like I was on a smell walk. Just like when seeing you are always seeing something without a beginnning or end, just a constant flow of sights I had a constant flow of smells. From the salt air, to nag champa incense to skunk (!) to beef to men's cologne. I could feel the wind on my body and even the way I carried myself was different. My posture was so much better! I was steady on my feet, I stepped on some slippery mud once but because I wasn't tense about it I just flowed with it and didn't lose my balance at all. If I had known it was there I would have been all worried about slipping on it.
At one point I saw what I thought was a large group of people on a quiet side street. I immediately jumped to horrible and irrational and silly conclusions. Fear, fear, fear. Then I thought it was just an empty boat trailer, as I got closer I found it was nothing really and beyond it just a stop sign. It was then that I realized I had a fear of the future because I couldn't see clearly how the future was going to play out. Amazing!
As my vision gets clearer I am hoping my thoughts will too or maybe as my thoughts get clearer my vision will follow.

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