ThankThisHouse

Oh Yeah, new blog created! My family's journey with a fixer-upper. Watch the progress and lack thereof!

My Vision Quest

I am starting a new project and I am on day 3. I have worn glasses for over 30 years, since I was 2 maybe(I will have to fact check with my mom and get back on this for you ). I think my prescription is around -8 or -9 Like most people who have glasses or contacts, some days I dont't even notice that I am using them but on other days I hate them and feel that they are such a burden. Off and on I have thought about healing my sight, especially the past 2 or 3 years. Before that it was merely wishful thinking, cursing my "genetic luck".
So I just started googling natural vision healing and came across the Bates Method. I ordered somebooks from Amazon but they haven't come yet. In the meatime I am going "naked" as much as I can. I haven't put my contacts in since I made this decision and have had my glasses mostly on top of my head. I believe all ilness and disease originates in our own thoughts and therefore we have the power to heal ourselves.
Mythoughts are super scattered right now because I have had so many new experiences the [ast few days and I am worried that I will for get one of these important keys to healing. Ah that is a key right there. I think mostly my eyesight is not at its best because of fear. Fear that because I can't see the future clearly that it must be something to be scared of, something not to trust. That somehow the world is out to get me. Trust, Trust, Trust.
Already I am interacting with the world differently. I went for a walk downtown last night without any sight aids. It was only a mile and a half but it was a profound experence for me. I was relying on all my other senses so much more. I told Keith I felt like I was on a smell walk. Just like when seeing you are always seeing something without a beginnning or end, just a constant flow of sights I had a constant flow of smells. From the salt air, to nag champa incense to skunk (!) to beef to men's cologne. I could feel the wind on my body and even the way I carried myself was different. My posture was so much better! I was steady on my feet, I stepped on some slippery mud once but because I wasn't tense about it I just flowed with it and didn't lose my balance at all. If I had known it was there I would have been all worried about slipping on it.
At one point I saw what I thought was a large group of people on a quiet side street. I immediately jumped to horrible and irrational and silly conclusions. Fear, fear, fear. Then I thought it was just an empty boat trailer, as I got closer I found it was nothing really and beyond it just a stop sign. It was then that I realized I had a fear of the future because I couldn't see clearly how the future was going to play out. Amazing!
As my vision gets clearer I am hoping my thoughts will too or maybe as my thoughts get clearer my vision will follow.

The carving of time

At the request of my lovely friend Zena, living thousands of miles (and km) away, I am posting to my blog and setting the intention to do so much more often.

So a few months ago I began wondering how moms get any time to themselves. We are not planning on sending our kids to school so this is not an issue of just wait until they hop on that school bus for me. I started thinking back to my mom, always bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, dressed and ready for the day when the four of us kids would come charging down the stairs wanting breakfast (which was always ready) before heading out the door at barely past 7am.
"Holy Crap" I thought "she must have gotten up at like 5am every morning for 35 years." At first, I have to be honest, a little bit of dread and resentment welled up in me as I realized what I must do. But I thought that I would give it a try. So initially - complete failure! I would immediately turn off my 5am alarm as soon as I heard it and wake up pissed off at myself for not getting my ass out of bed on time. This went on for a little bit.
Then I had the brilliant idea of tryng 5:15am. So what if I am only playing a trick on myself, 5am really IS too close to the 4am hour. 5:15 apparently is not because Oh that 15 minutes has made all the difference!
So for the past few months I have (mostly) been able to get up early, at least before the kids and make coffee and hop on the computer (ok, it's mainly for facebook.) I get to shower and get dressed without a cute baby ripping my closet to shreds while I scramble to get clothes on. I see Keith for a few minutes before he leaves for work and I ...drumroll please......get some of that elusive "me-time." So I guess sometimes the examples our parents set for us work out pretty well. Thanks Mom, I love you. Hope you had a great birthday!

Mind my own business

I don't tell you how to live your life, Mom. - Iris

Ouch, why does she always have to be right??? 

Boden talks about Santa

Santa's a sneaky guy.

A long, long time ago

"One day a long, long time ago...this house was clean."

Boden 3

I wonder when that day was? Actually we do manage to clean up at least somewhat everyday but my 7:30am each day it's back to this:)

3 Big Lessons

I was thinking today how much I am my children's student. They teach me so much. Everyday without fail I examine my own thoughts and feelings because of them. It's really amazing how little I knew about myself before they came along.

Iris has given me a new found appreciation for what it means to be a female and to totally, 100% embrace that. As a women's studies major in college, the focus of my classes was often on how women were made to be subservient or weak. Or at least that was my take on it at the time. Now I am just appreciating the differences between the sexes. And wearing more dresses.

Boden has taught me so much about patience, gentleness and acceptance. He has the strongest will and conventional parenting techniques- might makes right-do not work with him. Not only does he not do what you want him to do, but his spirit is so hurt by that way of acting. He is the one who helps me get over worrying about what other people think and the one who reminds me to be kind, even when a dinosaur is being thrown at my head.

And Gus. Oh what a happy, happy person. He just wants to be happy (really don't we all) and he is. I am learning so much about myself from his physical issues, that don't seem to bother him one bit. The underlying thoughts of mine that caused those physical issues in utero were the same thoughts that plagued generations back in my family and showed up in me as well. I am realizing things that I probably never would have even thought about if he hadn't given me this opportunity to put my limiting beliefs under this microscope.

I feel like all my children have given me these wonderful opportunities to stretch as a person and I am so very thankful for them.

Brother and Sister

It's so much fun... (Iris)
Yeah, bein' a brother and sister. (Boden)

Words of Wisdom

Sometimes you gotta just go with the flow.

I'm going with my river, you're going with your river.

-Iris

Thanks for the reminder

"Mom, you have so much to learn." Boden age 3

That Baby Smell

I was sitting at the computer after all the kids were asleep when I heard some stirring in the bedroom. "Crap," I thought. As I walked in I saw Gus waking up. I got back into bed to nurse him back to sleep, hoping that it wouldn't take too long. I bent over to pick him up and give him a kiss and there was that newborn baby smell, that sweet, new, perfect scent. It just put me in a timeless place, so pure and so fleeting. I almost teared up thinking that this may be one of the last times I smell that smell from him. 7 months have flown by.

Up Til Midnite with Bode

I've been really trying to stay in the moment with Boden. He is super smart, full of energy, curious and doesn't always need a lot of sleep. A challenging combination for me at times;) But he is so much fun and I really like being able to give him my undivided attention, which I admit doesn't happen that often. So the other night when he took a 3 hour nap late in the afternoon I not surprised that he wasn't tired and I decided to take this as a perfect opportunity to spend some fun time together. We had such a great time!! I cleaned up the downstairs while Bode watched some tv and then helped a little. We played, had a snack, read books and snuggled. It was so nice to just spend time together and I really don't know how many times he told me he loved me. That's just the sweetest sound. Sigh.

Cat pee!

Fact 1: We got a new couch.
Fact 2: We have a cat who is very sensitive to the overall energy in our house.
Fact 3: I was in a very bad funk one day last week.
Can you guess Fact 4?
That's right pee on the new couch!!
So now I am thankful for a cat who reminds me when I need an attitude adjustment and also for vinegar.

I'm stopping this car right now!

Boden was screaming, not crying, just yelling as loud as he possibly could on the way home in the car today. It wasn't joyful, happy screams - which I can handle. He was screaming so that I would know that he wanted to get home (which is where we were headed.) Well, it completely drove me nuts and I had to get off the highway and actually stop the car because I wasn't cool enough to just tune it out and drive at the same time. I felt like I was in one of those horrible family comedies that make you laugh but at the same time you wish you didn't get the jokes. I got out of the car to talk to him and he stopped screaming, though I was still hanging onto that frustration. But I turned it around!! I got some compassion, he was super tired and we had just had 3 fun-filled hours at the childrens' museum. I knew he would be asleep in just a few minutes and I just had to wait it out. I want to respond to things like that with love and calm patience, that is my goal and I know until I can do it consistently these kind of occurances will keep popping up in my experience.
So today I am thinking how thankful I am for my vocal son!!

Groceries on my head

My son Boden, 2.5, was helping me put away groceries the other day (a really great distraction from hitting his sister with plastic dinosaurs) and he reminded me how important it is to have fun. I know I sometimes get bogged down in the basics that need to get done - feed everyone, change diapers, brush teeth, comb hair and oh yeah, nurse, nurse and then nurse some more. But as Bode tried to balance the granola bar box on his head before he put it away I realized I should do that more often, or at least try it because I really don't recall the last time I tried balancing groceries on my head before putting them away. And it could be really great.

Think Thankful at Ning

I just started a Ning social network thinkthankful.ning.com
I originally had a vision for thinkthankful.com where there was a social networking forum just for people sharing what they were thankful for in their lives. I didn't really have the faintest idea of how to make that happen but I kept thinking "Oh wouldn't that be great where just pure positive energy and appreciation was flowing through online posts. Big things, little things, pictures, videos, whatever. All about appreciating." Well now there is and it was really pretty easy though the site is still in its infancy. I have a lot to learn about it but I'm excited for this challenge.
So come and join Ning and the Think Thankful community!

Art class update

So Iris finished up her week of art classes this week and she loved it! In fact today when I thought she was giving me a hug when I dropped her off she was actually pushing me out the door.
Sometimes as a parent you second guess yourself, especially when you see other kids doing things that your kids aren't quite ready for yet. Keith and I always *try* to be supportive of our kids own timetables. We were both unsure if Iris would even finish one of these classes and had decided that the worst that could happen would be losing $70. That's definitely not a good enough reason to get all worried about what would happen. So we let it go and she enjoyed them more than we had even hoped. Now she's asking when summer is over, so that she can take another set of art classes.
One interesting thing Iris said struck me about taking art classes - she said it was hard to do her own thing sometimes because she would look at what other people were doing and she thought that was interesting and she wanted to try to copy them. I guess that is the big dilemma about art classes: does it really bring about your creativity to design something when there are some set parameters first or do those parameters just kind of stretch your creativity in a direction you might not have gone without some kind of constraints?

Crying baby

We don't let our babies cry much, in fact as little as humanly possible. Gus is 3 months and growing so fast and the other day he started crying because her heard his big brother Boden crying. His eyes were sad and he had that trembling lower lip before he let out a big wail. I did have that fleeting thought, oh jeez - just what I need two crying instead of one; but then I realized how absolutely great it was! Gus is already so attached and connected to his siblings that he literally already knows their feelings. It is just so true that children can sense the feelings of those around them from the very beginning. I am so much more aware of that this time around and it is even more motivation to keep myself in a good place.

Art Class?

Here is some more from those musings of mine that I found. I really needed to find this stuff!

The inability of us as parents to manipulate our children's feelings is tiresome. It is probably the most difficult thing for us to deal with. Children know what they want and that they should feel good now. Sometimes we are just to tired to help them get there on their own and we just want them to obey or just be easy.


My daughter loves art. There are days (alright, its actually everyday and now you can picture how messy things can get around here) when the floor is completely full of cut papers, glue, markers, paint, crayons, tape and who knows what else. We live in a town that is big into art so at our community arts center I signed her up for a class called Draw, Paint and Create. When she heard the name and I asked her if she wanted to go she started screaming and running around she was so excited. I told her I wouldn't be in the room with her and she said that was okay.

Well the class starts today and yesterday we were all on the Iris roller coaster. Yes I want to go, No I don't want to go, well maybe, then NO, NO, NO. I guess we could have just made her choose one and stick to it no matter what, but that is not our style.
Instead I used it as an opportunity to talk about her feelings and what she thought would happen. I told her that if she did want to try it, then anytime she was nervous then she should just think in her head "I am safe, this class is fun." But if she didn't want to go she didn't have to and if she wanted to try it and leave partway through that was fine too.
Later in the afternoon, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face and said "I'm feeling really good about my class tomorrow, I'm having really good thoughts about it now."

I figure no matter what happens with her class, at least I know I learned something and I think she did too.

Back Again!

After a hiatus I am back! I am now the mother of 3 and our lives are pretty full :)

As in most homes with children, emotions are easily read and shown. This past week has been no exception and I was focusing on how that is good, because when all 3 kids are crying at the same time its really easy to doubt that. Today I found a piece of my writing from months ago and it gave me some calm:

Children trust themselves. They do not doubt themselves. What they feel is what they feel and the never think that they shouldn't feel how they are feeling. If they feel sad it is because they feel sad; it is a direct reflection. They don't feel good and they want it fixed right away. That is wonderful. They are connected to their well-being so easily and fully that when they are not, it is horrible. They know immediately and fully that they are unhappy and they want to somehow fix it NOW! The most important thing is getting back to feeling good. That's how it should be for all of us.They are the ones who have it right.

Just writing that again makes me feel better (that and the fact that my husband just took my two older ones to the farmer's market and the baby is sleeping)